Seder Time! Delight or Dread?
So Covid restrictions are lifting. You are likely to be facing family members in-person (and maybe still on ZOOM), which perhaps you haven’t really seen in over a year.
Are you excited to celebrate the upcoming Seder together? Or, are you a little bit hesitant?
We are in some unprecedented times with many of us feeling the pressure of the pandemic and the toll it may have taken on our relationships, our children’s education, our careers, the stability of our country, and the polarization of our politics.
Passover, and Spring in general, are the times to focus on renewal. The story of Passover also reminds us to be mindful of freedom from bondage. This bondage, or the state of being a slave, can apply also to the bondage we place ourselves in. We do this often ,by not having strong enough boundaries and giving our power away to others by getting easily riled up by what they say, the looks they give, the body language they display…
The reality is, our closest loved ones -or even perfect strangers online-, can get a reaction from us because -without even their knowing- they often hold up mirrors to our own unresolved issues, fears, and even unmet needs.
It is not often easy to bury these real feelings under the Seder tablecloths with the Afikomen, yet so often, we try and do.
This upcoming Seder can present an opportunity to stay in control of what you want to be available for, and what you don’t!
What does renewal and liberation look like for YOU?
Here are some helpful tips: Before the Seder, take a few minutes for some deep breathes and identify the topics, the comments, (and the eye rolls) from which parent, uncle, aunt, sibling, who may have the most triggering effects. Whether you are single and its comments on your relationship status or, married and its comments on your parenting
or you are passionate about the country’s state of affairs and its comments you may find offensive- Ask yourself, what is really going on? What is underneath that comment/point of view/glance that bothers me so much?
You are always in control of who and what you give your power to.
At the time of the Seder, be mindful of settling gentle but firm limitations of what conversation you will allow, and which are not up for discussion at the moment. In a calm grounded matter, be mindful of where you choose to put your attention. Does this exchange serve you and those around you? Who may be watching?
When you mentally prepare beforehand this way, often times you may end up having a much better, more rich, and more enjoyable experience. Why? Because you are prepared and in your control, and that feels good!
Wishing you and your families peace, warmth and love during this celebrated uniting.
And if it doesn’t work out! Call me, wink!
Happy Passover and next year in Jerusalem!
With love, Daniella Bloom
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