Kvell- Holidays and Celebrations Don’t’ Sweat Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planning
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Don’t Sweat Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planning
And Why Entertainment Is So Important to a Good Party!
By Jacqueline Weiss
Mazel tov, your child has just been given the date for their bar/bat mitzvah! They’ll receive a Torah portion assignment, you’ll coordinate with the temple, and of course, plan a party to celebrate your child’s entry into Jewish adulthood. But whether you’ve attended five or fifty bar/bat mitzvahs, the process of actually planning one for your own child when the time comes may feel like a daunting task.
Organization and preparation are key to making your child’s special day a success, no matter how big or small a celebration you’re planning. To give you a leg up, we gathered the best advice from local experts who have been vendors at hundreds of bar and bat mitzvahs across greater Los Angeles.
While the timeline of it all might be the first thing on your mind, and one of the biggest causes of potential stress, Dana Bresin, founder of DB Creativity, says not to stress too much.
“Everybody’s on their own schedule. That is part and parcel of our industry, and I would stress to any family, that’s okay. You don’t have to keep up with anyone’s timeline,” says Bresin, who launched her event planning business in 2004 after growing up in the L.A. restaurant industry.
She explains, “I try and come from a different perspective. There’s plenty of pressure in our world and this does not need to be an additional one in a family dynamic. So I try and come to it with ‘wherever you are is the right time to start planning.’ I know that’s probably against the grain, but it works.”
Once you’ve stopped comparing, it’s time to make one of your first decisions — will you hire a planner? Or will you go it alone?
Bresin says, “I always tell a client the best place to start is with a planner if you’re going to use one because most planners worth their salt are going to save you money versus their fee. So typically, planners help save you, whether it’s negotiating contracts or saving yourself the time that you would otherwise spend doing research and knowing potential pitfalls among other things. A lot of what happens during planning is time-saving, which translates to money saving as well as negotiation and saving money.”
Whether or not you’ll be working with a party planner, it’s time to think about a few major vendors. Or as Bresin calls them, the “big five”: venue, photography, videography, catering/drinks (if not in-house with your venue), and “the big guy,” a.k.a. entertainment.
Randy Lehrman, who founded Real Genius Entertainment 25 years ago, agrees “Entertainment is, in my opinion, and I am biased, the most important thing that you can get. So get the best you can.”
While doing impressions at a bat mitzvah as a 17-year-old attendee, Lehrman was scouted and hired by an entertainment company. When it came time to go out on his own and start his own business years later, he was ready to shake things up.
“Most of the MCs or DJs back in the day were very one-dimensional. An MC talked, the DJ was only spinning the tunes, and if you had dancers, they just danced. So for me, I wanted the MCs, the DJs, the dancers to do as many of the jobs as we can, and that way you have these multifaceted, you know Swiss army knives that show up to the party that are fun, they’re engaging, they’re camp counselor vibes, and it doesn’t matter if you go up to the DJ or the MCers and dancers, everybody’s going to kind of interact,” Lehrman says. His team of 30+ performers (which includes MCs, DJs, interactive dancers and specialty performers) at Real Genius split their time between bar/bat mitzvahs, weddings, corporate events, and other parties, offering packages and extra add-ons to customize your big day. Those enhancements, which include Co2 blasters and various LED lights, have come a long way since he got started, and can really bring the space, and party, to life.
Lehrman jokes, “It’s like building a poke bowl, you pick your proteins and then everything else is you add on – and I kind of make the rest of everything so the client could get all customizations.”
Laurie Bailey photographs 15-20 bar/bat mitzvahs annually and has also seen first-hand the difference that quality entertainment can bring to a party.
“The choice of DJ makes an enormous difference. It truly does. I’ve seen DJs get those kids playing on the dance floor, having fun, jumping around, you know, competing for a gift card, or whatever the gimmick is, all night,” she says. “Versus DJs who the kids are like on their phones sitting around not participating, so it’s really crucial to get recommendations from your planner and from other families about DJs and what kind of vibe you want for your party because that’s really more than anything else is going to determine the energy of the party.”
Bailey got her start with event photography in 2000 while working at a photo studio before founding Laurie Bailey Photography in 2006, and loves her role in the industry.
“I just love shooting bar and bat mitzvahs, especially in L.A., because there is such a strong Jewish community, and even people who belong to different synagogues know each other,” she says.
Many vendors also offer services for weddings and more events, but Bailey says to ensure the best day possible, make sure to use someone who has ample experience specifically with bar and bat mitzvahs.
“Just make sure you’re hiring someone who shoots bar and bat mitzvahs. I’ve had people come to me who’ve hired someone who did a lot of weddings but didn’t fully understand the hora or the candle lighting,”
Working with a planner means that once your “big five” are knocked out, parents can largely focus on their teen’s Torah studies and bar/bat mitzvah project.
“Once you scratch those big guys out of the way, I usually give my clients some downtime and then ramp up around 3 months out. That is when we get into décor, design and all the details. I strive to make the process as stress-free as possible, working on their timeline and just bringing value and enjoying the journey,” Bresin says.
No matter how big or small a party you’re planning, try to soak up every minute of the day when all is said and done. “You could put all your effort and heart into the planning, but once the day comes, just enjoy. It’s going to go quickly and just be there to celebrate.” Bailey says. “Once people get to the party, everyone’s so happy, and they’re having a great time.”
